No king without his queen
by Majspaj
Summary: It s been a year since they came back from Narnia. A year full of misery, tears and mourning. Will they brake the taboo, or will they stay away, only to see eachothers hearts tear apart? PeterSusan Incest


**Ok, so I read A high king and his queen by SubOrbital a few days ago, and I think you should read it too; it´s beautiful.**

**I´m pretty nervous about this, and if you find any wierd words or sentences, then forgive. I live in sweden, and I´m used to write in swedish.**

**Anyway, read and review, next chapter will be up in a few days :)**

**Introduction**

Edmund´s POV

_I knew there was something going on between my oldest siblings. I think I´ve known, deep down, ever since that time I found Susan curled up next to Peter in his bed - in nothing but her bra and panties._

_When I woke them up she told me that she´d had a nightmare, so she went to Peters room._

_I thought it was nothing strange with that. I mean, when Lucy had a nightmare, she usually ended up in my bed._

_No, I found nothing strange in that. But when they with hushed voices told me not to tell mum or dad, I knew something was going on._

_I think Lucy knew, too. But maybe she didn´t thought about it as much as I did. After all; she was only nine years old, and I guess that even if she felt something was different, she didn´t care too much about it._

_But I could never help but notice how Peter kept throwing glances at the oldest sister, making her blush._

_Or how they would sneak away, sometimes in the middle of the day. When I asked why, they usually exchanged a look before telling me that they only visited a few friends. And silly me - I fell for it._

_That is, until I woke up by Susan walking past my room, heading for Peter´s. I thought she´d had another noghtmare, but I silently tiptoed after her, only to find her lying beside the oldest Pevensie in his small bed._

_I didn´t dare to say a word - they would probably get mad if they found out I followed Susan to the room. _

_As I stood there, with a sickening feeling growing stronger in my stomach, I realised that the way Susan kissed Peter´s mouth, jaw, neck, was anything but sisterly._

_And the way he gazed lovingly into her eyes wasn´t so brotherly, either..._

_Quiet as a mouse I walked back to my room, unable to sleep for the rest of the night._

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Susans POV

"... Susan, are you even listening to me?"

My eyes snapped open when I heard my little sister´s annoyed voce.

"Sorry, Lu. I guess I fell asleep." I said and gave her an apologic look. "I haven´t slept very well lately."

"Well, I can see that." the younger girl snarled. "Is something bothering you?"

I sighed. It felt wrong to talk to Lucy about this. Even though she knew, I couldn´t. It felt too wierd.

"No, it´s nothing." I said and tried to smile, avoiding the suspicious look Lucy gave me.

"It´s about Peter, right?"

I looked at her, surprised.

"How did you know that?"

"Well, I´m not stupid. You´re usually thinking of him when you look like that." Lucy answered and pointed at my face.

"What?" I asked, trying to sound offended.

Lucy just sighed and turned away from me, facing the car window.

Me and Lucy was on our way home to the Professor´s house, where our mother hoopefully was. Peter and Edmund would arrive in the morning.

I couldn´t stand the thought of having to meet Peter again, without being able to gaze lovingly into his blue eyes, kiss his gorgeous lips...

"It will be so much fun to meet Edmund and Peter again. I´ve missed them." Lucy said, smiling faintly to the cold glass.

"Yeah..." I mumbled, aware that Lucy knew what I was thinking about.

Of course I missed my brothers, but the feeling of not being able to have something, someone, that I love of my entire heart and soul, that I´ve had for almost sixteen years... It was unbearable.

But it wasn´t as if I never saw him, except for the short visits to the Professor´s house.

Actually, Peter and Edmunds school is just across the street from mine and Lucys. But since no boys were allowed in the girls-school, and vice verse, we just saw eachother on Sundays, if we weren´t busy then.

But meeting him here, in the house that once led us to such great happiness was almost more than I could take.

After we stumbled back into our own world, a world full of wars and darkness, everything got different. In Narnia, the beautiful world full of joy and happiness, a relationship like mine and Peters were easily accepted. In Narnia, there was no such word as 'incest'.

Everything had been perfect. It had been the two of us, the mother and father of Narnia. The High King with his High Queen, and neither existed without the other.

Lucy had accepted it almost immediately. But Edmund... He was older than Lucy, and he always found it hard to accept changes to his life.

Months of uncomfortable silence between me, Peter and Edmund passed, until one late summernight.

I was sitting in the castle garden when Edmund approched. At first, he didn´t say anything. We just sat there, watching the beautiful sunset., bathing in amazing colors.

At last, he opened his mouth and started to talk, spilling his feelings. I didn´t say anything, didn´t inturrupt him one.

Edmund is the kind of person who don´t like 'heart-to-heart-talks'. So honsetly, I was rather stunned when he shut his mouth, waiting for me to say something.

_"Su, if it makes you happy, then of course I want the two of you to be together."_

Peters POV

I nervously glanced at the clock and sighed. I would meet Susan in less than 24 hours, and it would take all my restrain not to jump up to her and kiss her in front of everyody.

It´s hard.

It´s not like I want to brag, but I have to admit I´m pretty popular with the ladies.

And of course I have to be in love with the only woman in the whole wide world that I can not have.

So many sleepless nights, so many tears.

It´s almost a year since we got back from Narnia.

And I´ve spent rediciously little time with my oldest sister, since we all had to go back to school.

I just want to know what she thinks, what she feels. Does she even remember? Yes... Of course she remembers. She has to.

My heart broke the same night as we fell through that wardrobe, back into our world.

I knew we couldn´t keep what we had, not in this world. But I didn´t want to see it.

_"Peter..."_

_"Mm?"_

_Susan sighed agains my lips as she carefully pulled me away. I looked at her, surprised by the sudden change of heart._

_"What is it, Su?"_

_She slipped away from me and went to the window, staring at the rain through the glass._

_"We can´t keep doing this."_

_Something in my heart snapped, and I turned to stare at her._

_"What do you mean?"_

_What __**did**__ she mean exactly?_

_We had spent our whole lifes together. More than fifteen years as lovers, partners and best friends. Eleven years as a loving husband and wife._

_What did 'this' mean?_

_"Peter, you know what I mean. We´re not allowed in this world, not together. It´s a crime, it´s illegal."_

_"Is it a crime to be happy?" I asked with a quiet voice._

_Susan met my gaze, and I could see that tears would, within seconds, flow over her beautiful, pale cheeks._

_"What if mother found out? Or any of our friends? People with think of us as filthy..."_

_"Hey," I interuppted her. "don´t say that. No one would find out."_

_She turned her eyes to the window again. "We can´t."_

_"But..."_

_"Peter, please. Just... Go."_

I would never have left if I knew how everything would be. I would never have left if I knew that was our last kiss.

From that day, she started to ignore me, and if me, Lu or Ed tried to talk to her about anything that had to do with Narnia, she would refuse to listen.

I don´t understand. We have saved Narnia from wars, defeated evil, helped other kingdoms in battles. Don´t we deserve to be happy?

All I wanted was to be with her. I knew her better than anyone, and I knew her body better than my own.

I couldn´t even talk to anyone about this. Ed was... Well, he was our brother, it would be simply wrong. I remember when Susan and I came home to Cair Paravel from our honeymoon, and with Ed being my best friend, I told him how amazing it had been.

He didn´t say anything, he just glared at me and squeeked a "Stop it!" before he stormed out of the room.

I couldn´t talk to anyone at school, even though I had a few very good friends. I tried to tell one of them, Nathan, once.

When he asked me who 'Su' was I panicked and made him promise not to tell anyone.

God, what if my friends knew who Susan from across the street where, since she and her friends was a pretty popular subject at my school.

What if anyone finds out that her last name is Pevensie?

They would see me as a freak.

But deep, deep down, I knew it didn´t matter. All that mattered was that I, one day, would be with my queen again.


End file.
